Friday, August 7, 2015

Fear of trying new things

Fear of trying new things !!

Stuck in a rut? Want to change but scared? Many a times, our fear of changing our fixed schedule or do something out of routine stops us from trying out new things and carving out new paths for us. While most of us would agree with the quote that says “Change is the only constant in life”, we may not find it easy bringing out changes in our life, especially when they are needed.  Fear of trying new things comes from fear of failure, fear of being mocked, fear of messing up things and fear of the unknown. But, it is important to reinvent life every day so that nothing is stagnant and rotting.  Sometimes, all that you need in life is to change but you avoid taking an initiative or decision because of the fear of trying new things. The fear could be about trying new food or going to a new place or meeting new people. Most of us have that fear of the new in smaller or larger proportions.

Here is a list of why you should totally try new things :-

  • It’s widens your horizons :- It’s a new experience, something you have never experienced before. Once you try something new, be it that new dish, that new idea or that new place, it adds one more experience to your kitty. Well, you have one more dish to talk about. If you like telling stories, then you have one more story to tell!
  • It’s empowering :- Going for something you haven’t tried before needs some courage. It needs you to take a decision and taking a decision in time makes you feel independent and confident. You are more equipped to make a choice next time rather than postpone decisions. You know getting to decide and exercising that power is empowering, right?
  • You grow out of your comfort zone:- “Life happens outside comfort zone”, what better way to prove our point than this quote. When you push your limits, come out of your comfort zone and give it a try, you grow. Your mind will be more comfortable with taking some “worth-it” risks in future as you realize it’s not that bad being out of the security zone.
  • It doesn’t get boring :- Though discipline and routine is as important to polish and perfect yourself but after some it sets the stage for boredom and stagnancy. Breaking out of that routine chain is necessary because boredom, my friend, is not exactly what you are meant for. Take a change in schedule, do something out-of-routine, refresh yourself so that you can have the energy to start work with more enthusiasm the next day. Make small changes in your room, do something else today rather than what you would you usually do. Change your route, talk to someone new, visit a new place, cook something different or cook if you don’t cook. Try something different once in a while.
  • Live with no regrets : If you don’t try, there is always a regret “what if?”. If you try, it only makes you wiser and more informed. Try it for the sake of removing those what-ifs from your life. There is only one life and it’s not worth those regrets, trust me. It’s better to fail than to live with regrets.
  • Sometimes, it changes your life : You chose a path but it’s not working for you be it a choice in personal life or career-wise. To make necessary changes, you need to shed your previous life, make a decision and slip into a new world. It’s a tough choice, it requires brain-storming and mostly, it requires guts. Guts to go with your gut-feeling, to go all out for what you have your eyes on and remove unnecessary mess. Be what you want to be and if you aren’t that already, then you need a change.

Symptoms that you fear trying out the new:-

Most of the time, you delay taking decisions that may cause changes in your life. If many things in your life are lying on the backburner waiting for your nod, then face the fact that you fear the new.
  • You are bored of your daily life, there is monotony and life is taking a toll on you sapping your energy. You are one energy level down than the previous day. All this means you haven’t been making a new coffee for days together.
  • You believe you need change. You want something but you don’t have it. In fact, you are sure. Every pore of your soul tells you what you want to be, what you want to do and if all you have been is to hold yourself back, then it’s time to face your fears. Things are not changing because you are not treading a new path.

You are born with some seeds and others you need to grow. There is nothing you cannot overcome if you believe you can. There are some good tips that surely go a long way in helping you get over your fears.

Tips to help you overcome your fear of Trying out the new things :-

  • Write it down :Pick up a diary and note down all that’s wrong in your life and needs to be fixed up and renewed. Now, tick-mark all those things that have been lying low because of your carelessness. Write down the pros and cons of making those changes, weigh them and decide. Take some time to decide and then, start working towards those changes and write down the progress. Writing down is important, it makes you confident that you are taking conscious and calculated steps, the fear is lessened as it feels like a planned strategy. Moreover, you tend to remember clearly the written things.
  • Take help : Research helps. Researching the right places, talking to the right people. People who can help you make a decision. If it’s a big decision like changing careers or jobs, talk to the relevant people. Talk to people who have been there and done that. Also, talk to a bunch of people and not just one or two so that you have all angles of opinion and listen to your inner voice. What you want is always crucial and more crucial is going all out for that.
  • Start with making small changes : When it’s a big change, it is not easy. Start by taking baby steps, steps that do not require much strain. Handling small changes well gives you the confidence to bring on some not-so-easy changes. As Paulo Coelho puts it, “when you are not sure, take the next small step.” Take a small step, crawl, limp, don’t rush but keep walking. The day you become sure, you can start running but let it be an honest effort all the time.
  • Track your progress over a period of time: As I mentioned, writing down is the most important part. Track your progress. Note down the new things you successfully accomplished, write down the positive or negative effects of it on you. Keep a watch over the results, we are sure they will be positive. This will give you the confidence and confidence, my friend, is the key. Again, tracking your progress shows you a clear picture and you feel more in control.

We hope the above tips help you in embracing change more readily. We wish you luck. May you conquer all your fears and every fear conquered is a step towards a new and happy life. Face your fears, write it down and beat them into submission. All the best.
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Thursday, August 6, 2015

Fear of holes – Trypophobia

Every time that small little hole makes you nauseate, anxious and mad then there is something major hinting at you. Well, this may come across strange but recently an unusual phobia came under the scanner which is making lives difficult. The phobia is fear of holes or trypophobia which makes the person fear any sorts of asymmetrical shapes specifically small holes in body, insects or anything similar.

What is Trypophobia?

Trypophobia is fear of holes which are created by nature specially. People suffering from this kind of fear face a lot of difficulty in their day to day life. Since holes in the bathroom basin or even in the trees can make them anxious and uncomfortable.
Trypophobia is not anything related to the holes in general, it is more related to the perception of the person regarding the holes. Trypophobia is a condition where the person senses danger related to the holes and whenever he/she comes across such holes, panic strikes.
For example, a person is normal when he is in some room or seated comfortable on a round bed or anything but as soon as he sees some small pores on his friend’s skin, he feels panicked and disgusted. He can even start behaving in the most unexpected manner because those pores make him feel sick. He has lots of perceptions about those holes, he thinks there is dangers residing inside or those holes are life threatening.
This person is trypophobic and he should definitely consult a doctor since this can majorly affect a person’s confidence and lifestyle.

Symptoms that trigger the trypophobia?

As mentioned above, some people are just scared of insects and not holes in specific and this condition is not trypophobia. Therefore, one should have a clear idea about trypophobia to make the treatment easy for them. Trypophobia is related to fear of small holes. Like the ones on skin, honeycomb, bot or anything in natural environment. Though even small holes on things can make the person panic, the natural one effects more disastrously.
Whenever the trypophobic patient comes across any such holes they react in a strong way. Reactions include:
  • They feel like their skin is shrinking
  • They feel very itchy on their body
  • Some may even fall sick physically
  • Some get weird thoughts that people are living inside the holes or they can fall inside the holes, these thoughts results in panic attacks.
Sometimes even just an image of such small holes can make the person react in same manner. Therefore this condition should not be avoided for too long.

What exactly makes the person fear the holes?

For a lay man, trypophobia may across to be something beyond their understanding. Since holes is the most basic thing to be fearful about. However, the trypophobia patients don’t see holes as something small. The fear therefore exist and that too in large number.Trypophobe sees a hole as a potential danger. Their brain have associated the hole with a danger, life threatening thing. Therefore whenever they see any hole they get disturbed and defensive. It’s the stimulus that triggers the fear over which they exercise no control. Even when trypophobes are told that there is no danger attached to the holes, they do not change their behaviour. This happens since they have no control over their thinking and reactions. It just happens since its unconscious response action.

Facts

  • Even an insect bite can make the trypophobic become paranoid as they think it can make holes in the skin.
  • The most feared species is bot flies, as the trypophobes believe that use humans for their larvae and they make a hole in the skin.

Remedy

For a better life, getting healed from such phobia is essential. It’s not like trypophobia cannot be treated, it can be fought with a lot of patience and will. These are key things that help the patient get over the phobia and lead a normal life. The medical help is of course necessary and here are some of the therapies listed below:
  • Behaviour Therapy
This therapy helps in altering the unwanted behaviour which the person is aiming to get rid of. This therapy will help the person to take control over their reactions which are triggered with the tiny holes. They can possibly even not get panicked if the therapy is properly followed and executed. Hence behaviour therapy is a good option that helps in coping up with trypophobia.
  • Cognitive Therapy
While the behaviour therapy helps in controlling the response to stimulus, cognitive therapy focusses on the thinking process of the trypophobe. Since the person’s thoughts are the main source of the fear, this therapy becomes an important part of the healing process. This helps in discarding all the negative thoughts which creates a loop of harmful perceptions of the holes. Basically, it helps the sufferer distinguish between the real thoughts and the unreal ones. In order to make this therapy a success, the patient has to fully cooperate and take part so that he/she recovers quickly
  • CBT or Cognitive and Behaviour Therapy
When the two therapies are together used to treat the patient, we call it CBT or Cognitive and Behaviour Therapy. This therapy comes handy to sufferer since they can apply it to their daily life and overcome the panic attacks triggered due to trypophobia.

Conclusion

It’s not an easy journey for the person who suffers from trypophobia, since this phobia is related to something that is so general and basic, something that can be seen anywhere and unexpectedly. The sufferer is always under a tension mind and the panic attacks furthermore gives them confidence issues and negative feeling. So the best way to get over the fear is to face it rather than just dealing with it or running away. It’s the only hope to get cured and the patient must take an immediate action so that the condition doesn’t worsens up.

Fear of water- Aquaphobia

Fear of water- Aquaphobia

From the ancient times and till now, world has changed in a positive manner but are we running on a right track. Each and every human being talks about their styles, attitudes and what not but have we ever talked about our weaknesses, our problems or our fears? I don’t think so! To start with today’s journey, let me tell you that it is high time we start talking about things in which people are more interested plus they will build up a sense of confidence to fight with those situations.
For today, I chose the topic- Fear of Water! When we read or hear this word ‘water’, we tend to draw a picture of it in our minds but what about others who are suffering from this phobia? Have we ever talked about how others feel who are suffering from AQUAPHOBIA; yes, that’s the word.
Aquaphobia is the term which we further explain as ‘fear of water’ which is also known as ‘Hydrophobia’. Many people suffer from this disorder and sometimes it’s even uncontrollable for others to control the patient. It is a kind of abnormal fear which is not restricted to only few areas of water. It could be anything! There are also situations wherein the patients can’t even enter their wash room; it is that scary for some. Not only by seeing water but also when they listen to the word ‘water’ or anything associated with it, they tend to avoid these terms and refuse to participate in any kind of discussion. Their heart beats runs faster and sometimes it is also difficult to control their behaviour and reactions.
Aquaphobia; fear of water is an easy fear to overcome very easily, it takes time. Sometimes the person doesn’t want to enter a swimming pool or even want to have a glass of water in spite of being thirsty.

Statistics:

Statistics say that Aqua phobia is more common and deadly than you can even think of! It is said that every person suffers from one or the other type of phobia. If we talk about Americans then the numbers indicate that between 8.7% and 18.1% of them are suffering from this phobia. Now you can imagine that how many Indians suffer from fear of water. There are no proper numbers given on internet as far as Indians are concerned who are suffering from this particular disease, or aqua phobia.

Facts:

Human being is not born with fears; rather fears develop when human being initially experiences it or seeing another person suffering from the same fear; fear of water. Here, we’ll discuss some of the facts related to fear of water, aqua phobia. As we have already studied about the actual meaning of this term, now further we will be learning about how it develops; the symptoms and also how you can adopt some remedies to have control on your fear. And further, let us start learning about various facts in next sections of this article.

Symptoms:

When you go and see a doctor, he/she will always ask you about how you feel; the symptoms. After listening to those symptoms only, doctor is able to detect the problem and accordingly prescribe you the medicines. Similarly, in this part also you need to understand the symptoms of aqua phobia or hydrophobia.
  • Inability to swim: This is one of the most common symptoms from which the patient goes through. He/ she have always this fear that the person can’t swim at all.
  • Fear of drowning and then death: Every human being thinks that a person suffering from aqua phobia experiences only one problem; which is, fear of getting drowned. But that is just not it! The person suffers from many other problems except this one.
  • Avoiding entering any water bodies: Another symptom which is commonly in all the human beings suffering from aqua phobia.
  • Shortness of breath: Another common symptom every patient experiences suffering from this particular phobia. Even if you do not step into any water body, still you will feel that you are not able to breathe properly.
  • Increase in heart beats: Just the way you deal with any of your business transaction, in the same way your heart beat increases at a very fast base.
  • Tremors: This is again another very common symptoms patient goes through who is suffering from this fear of water. When your whole body is tremoring, you just cannot control them at all. So you need to really careful!
  • Sweating: This is but obvious! If you are experiencing any kind of fear, it is very natural that you will sweat before trying out anything new associated with that fear.
These are the main symptoms from which the patient suffers. So it is really important for you to see and watch out these symptoms in the people around you. By doing this you will be able to track down this fear of water and accordingly you can take the patient to the doctor.
Remedies: When you are suffering from any kind of disease or fear, some remedies works really well. And further, we shall be discussing the same.
  • Exercises: There are some light exercises which you can try every day to avoid any difficulties.
  • Professional help: Counselling performs a very positive role and helps developing your personality is a beautiful manner.
  • Therapists: These act just like guide who are highly professional; they know how to handle the patients.
  • Swimming lessons: Perfect way to overcome your fear of water. Practice makes a man perfect, so can you. With regular practice, you will be able to overcome your fear.
  • Medications: Medicines is a quick type of alternative to overcome with your aqua phobia.
  • Cognitive therapy: There is not much information available about what exactly this therapy means but yes it does transforms you’re thinking from negative to positive.
These were some of the remedies you can try out to fight with your fears. Never give up and try to lead this world with positivity, you will surely overcome with your fears; not one but many.
fear of water-aquaphobia

Monday, August 3, 2015

Fear of Commitment

“You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear”
The word ‘commitment‘ itself might scare some people. The fear of commitment could either be in a relationship or even in simple life decisions. With the emerging infinite dating apps, one-night stands have become a common thing with the new generation. We are scared to commit to a relationship because we know it might end up miserably. This fear has stopped us from trying, leading to the concept of ‘no-strings attached’.
This idea of non-commitment might temporarily fix our issues but only make us soul-less in the long run. We don’t want to commit and then keep complaining about how miserable and lonely our life has become. Sometimes we woo away our potential partner by indirectly letting them know that this is just another passing affair. We are stuck in the same situation over and over again.  Einstein describes insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.” so instead of complaining about being stuck, do something about it. So, what do we actually do?
Let’s take a very simple example here. How many times have you hit the gym ever since you took that membership? Most of us would be feeling guilty about it right now and a few might even be rationalizing the casual behavior by giving excuses. The excuses range from having no time to being lazy to having no motivation. But then we still complain about the stressful lives we lead and how inactive we have become. One simple solution here would be owing responsibility for ditching the gym and working out a way to become a regular. Some of the ways could be buying new gym gear or finding a gym partner. But do we actually do it? NO! Because we fail even before we try. We are scared of committing to even fitness here.

Here are some reasons why we may be scared of this big word – ‘commitment’.  How many of these are actually true? Time to take a note!

  1. Unrealistic expectations

All thanks to Television shows and movies that we expect happy endings all the time. We forget that the movies are written by people who are paid to take the audience on an emotional roller coaster ride. We set the bar so high that we end up getting hurt and commitment phobic. That’s where we go wrong sometimes! But then it’s human tendency to expect from someone you love.  Here’s something that can work for you; Perfect relationships and perfect people don’t exist!
  1. Letting the past predict the future

You fell in love with that cute girl in college and everything was just perfect. You loved her and she loved you. But things didn’t work out and your heart was broken into millions of pieces. You had to drown your sorrows in alcohol and listen to sad songs to recover. You then decided to never fall in love again. This has happened with almost each one of us. Experiences work like shock therapy; you get burned enough times and you naturally become conditioned to stop doing it.

Here’s something you can do to let go of this fear of the past daunting on your future: Don’t generalize people and situations based on your past experiences. It’s tough but works wonders sometimes!
Here’s a short but not such a sweet love story.
Once upon a time there was a guy named Bhushan. He had just completed MBA from UK and returned to India to pursue his career in advertising. He got a job at a very good advertising agency. He had good bosses, lovely parties to attend, success at an early stage and great friends. Everything was going fine and then boom…he fell in love with this girl from his office. They were very much in love. Their relationship took a serious turn when their families got involved and their kundlis were matched. It was all hunky dory for them. But then what do they say about time? It changes in the fraction of a second. She decided to pursue her MBA from the same college as Bhushan did and then come back to get married. Bhushan was hesitant first but then supported and encouraged her to go live her dream. She went to UK and their long – distance relationship continued well for around 4 months. Suddenly tragedy decided to make Bhushan’s life more interesting. He finds out from a couple of common friends that she had found another guy and that she no longer wanted to be with him. Bhushan could not believe it initially but reality slowly seeped in with time. He was devastated and never wanted to talk about love, commitment and marriage again.
Three years have passed and he still doesn’t believe in commitment.
We have no perfect solution for this but one should just give another chance when it’s worth it.
  1. There’s time

Modern men and women don’t want to think of marriage and commitment because it’s too early for them. They want to focus on their career and make the most of it. Marriage can wait! We try to set time for commitment which never works. Therefore, don’t wait for the perfect time or the perfect person (We know you have made a list of the qualities) and just go for it when you feel is the right time. Because to be honest, there will never be more time.
  1. I love my freedom

This may not be the sole reason for being commitment phobic but is always there in our sub conscious mind. Nobody likes to be questioned about their whereabouts and when it comes to constant nagging and regular fights with the partner, we are better off on our own. There is only simple solution. We should learn to compromise and that’s where all relationships get stronger.
The fear of commitment ultimately boils down to the same cycle. We fall for someone, get hurt and then fear to get closer with someone else.  Moral of the story is, you have to get through it once again to let go of the fear. So, don’t be a pessimist and be open to situations that life throws in.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Fear of being alone


fear of being alone

FEAR OF BEING ALONE

We all have been through the lonely phase of our lives. While some come out strong, a few get trapped in this loneliness. A surprising number of people fear being alone. Maybe just about all of us do to some extent.  Which is natural, right?  We’ve all felt it, deep within us, though we try desperately to avoid this fear. But what happens when being alone turns into a fear?
This fear of being alone is an irrational behavior. Alone doesn’t mean “lonely.” Yet, the false premise states that clinging to ‘another’ for safety will somehow guarantee our safety.Monophobia, or the fear of being alone, is a common term for several discrete fears. Some people are afraid of being apart from a particular person. Some fear living alone or being in public alone.
This fear being a latent one can’t be traced by any specific medical examination. It is difficult to track the percentage of people suffering from this phobia. You might be scared to be alone in the dark but such mild fears don’t make you monobhopic. However, research conducted in US shows that 1 in every 3 citizens suffer from this phobia. Have you started to feel that you may be a victim of this phobia?
Here is the story of a teenager who is is monophobic and slowly recovering from the fear. If you are monobhobic, you might just relate to this.
This is the story of a girl Sarah. She was pursuing her graduation and was usually a happy person.  She went to college everyday with a smile and tried to enjoy life to the fullest. But, sometimes, it was hard for her. She had a phobia of being left alone. It’s called monophobia. Monophobia is an acute fear of being alone and having to cope without a specific person.
About 7 months ago, she fell wildly in love with a boy.  You may think that she’s really too young to be in love, but with monophobia it’s easy to get closely attached to people. And, soon came the day, when he was ready to move on. She began to have panic and anxiety attacks, crying his name in the middle of the night. She would lock herself in her closet, not letting anyone in.
Recently, she started going for therapy. With monophobia, even therapists can’t bully or talk someone out of their phobia. Monophobics don’t talk about it, but they work on the fear. She’s doing much better now and feels good to be open about this.
Reachout has helped her, and so has therapy. She still has loads of it to go because she still doesn’t feel stable alone. But she will get through. A little bit at a time.
Do you know of anyone who has expressed their fear of being alone? Did you take it seriously or ignored it and asked them to pull up their socks and move on? Think about it! They might be a victim of this fear and just need the right help.

There are some typical symptoms of this fear. Here are some of them:

  1. Irrational fear of being alone
  2. Feeling of panic
  3. Feeling of terror
  4. Feeling of dread
  5. Rapid heartbeat
  6. Shortness of breath
  7. Nausea
  8. Dry mouth
  9. Trembling
  10. Anxiety
Check for these symptoms and if you know anyone going through the same, immediately seek medical help.

How to overcome this fear?

You may not be an extreme case but it’s always good to know about overcoming this fear and stay happy.
One study found that when older people are socially isolated, there is an increased risk of an earlier death, by as much as 26%. If you are worried about your fears of being alone, these ways will help you find your comfort zone.

1.Enjoy your alone time

When you are alone, it is important to enjoy it to the full. Pursue your interests and hobbies. Take up new ones. Learn new skills. Lie on the couch. Eat pizza. Leave the kitchen in a mess. The list can go on and on, but finding the right balance is crucial. There will be times when being on your own is perfect, but then there will be a creeping feeling that you should not be so isolated. Once you start feeling loneliness, then it is time to take action.

2.Don’t do social networking

In desperate needs to connect with someone, you might end up on Facebook, Twitter, Tinder etc. It is true that social networking can provide an initial contact, but the chances of that becoming a real life personal contact is pretty thin. Don’t stalk your ex and end up feeling miserable about being alone. Enjoy the time you have. Also remember when you really need company, your Facebook and Twitter friends won’t be there for you.

3.Don’t be get into a relationship

It is a bitter fact that loneliness often turns into desperation which often gets us into wrong relationships. There might be peer pressure, pressure from the family to find a suitable partner and get married. But don’t rush into things. It will happen when it’s supposed to be. The main problem is that you need to pause, reflect and get advice. Recognize that your fear of being alone is taking over. A rash decision now could lead to endless unhappiness. So act upon your fear slowly and steadily.

 Count your blessings

Study after study shows that if people show gratitude they will reap a bountiful harvest. These include a stronger immune system, better health, more positive energy and most important of all, feeling less lonely and isolated.

Surround yourself with your loved ones, travel and don’t be scared to be alone.