FEAR OF BEING ALONE
We all have been through the lonely phase of our lives. While some come out strong, a few get trapped in this loneliness. A surprising number of people fear being alone. Maybe just about all of us do to some extent. Which is natural, right? We’ve all felt it, deep within us, though we try desperately to avoid this fear. But what happens when being alone turns into a fear?
This fear of being alone is an irrational behavior. Alone doesn’t mean “lonely.” Yet, the false premise states that clinging to ‘another’ for safety will somehow guarantee our safety. Monophobia, or the fear of being alone, is a common term for several discrete fears. Some people are afraid of being apart from a particular person. Some fear living alone or being in public alone.
This fear being a latent one can’t be traced by any specific medical examination. It is difficult to track the percentage of people suffering from this phobia. You might be scared to be alone in the dark but such mild fears don’t make you monobhopic. However, research conducted in US shows that 1 in every 3 citizens suffer from this phobia. Have you started to feel that you may be a victim of this phobia?
Here is the story of a teenager who is is monophobic and slowly recovering from the fear. If you are monobhobic, you might just relate to this.
This is the story of a girl Sarah. She was pursuing her graduation and was usually a happy person. She went to college everyday with a smile and tried to enjoy life to the fullest. But, sometimes, it was hard for her. She had a phobia of being left alone. It’s called monophobia. Monophobia is an acute fear of being alone and having to cope without a specific person.
About 7 months ago, she fell wildly in love with a boy. You may think that she’s really too young to be in love, but with monophobia it’s easy to get closely attached to people. And, soon came the day, when he was ready to move on. She began to have panic and anxiety attacks, crying his name in the middle of the night. She would lock herself in her closet, not letting anyone in.
Recently, she started going for therapy. With monophobia, even therapists can’t bully or talk someone out of their phobia. Monophobics don’t talk about it, but they work on the fear. She’s doing much better now and feels good to be open about this.
Reachout has helped her, and so has therapy. She still has loads of it to go because she still doesn’t feel stable alone. But she will get through. A little bit at a time.
Do you know of anyone who has expressed their fear of being alone? Did you take it seriously or ignored it and asked them to pull up their socks and move on? Think about it! They might be a victim of this fear and just need the right help.
There are some typical symptoms of this fear. Here are some of them:
- Irrational fear of being alone
- Feeling of panic
- Feeling of terror
- Feeling of dread
- Rapid heartbeat
- Shortness of breath
- Nausea
- Dry mouth
- Trembling
- Anxiety
Check for these symptoms and if you know anyone going through the same, immediately seek medical help.
How to overcome this fear?
You may not be an extreme case but it’s always good to know about overcoming this fear and stay happy.
One study found that when older people are socially isolated, there is an increased risk of an earlier death, by as much as 26%. If you are worried about your fears of being alone, these ways will help you find your comfort zone.
1. Enjoy your alone time
When you are alone, it is important to enjoy it to the full. Pursue your interests and hobbies. Take up new ones. Learn new skills. Lie on the couch. Eat pizza. Leave the kitchen in a mess. The list can go on and on, but finding the right balance is crucial. There will be times when being on your own is perfect, but then there will be a creeping feeling that you should not be so isolated. Once you start feeling loneliness, then it is time to take action.
2. Don’t do social networking
In desperate needs to connect with someone, you might end up on Facebook, Twitter, Tinder etc. It is true that social networking can provide an initial contact, but the chances of that becoming a real life personal contact is pretty thin. Don’t stalk your ex and end up feeling miserable about being alone. Enjoy the time you have. Also remember when you really need company, your Facebook and Twitter friends won’t be there for you.
3. Don’t be get into a relationship
It is a bitter fact that loneliness often turns into desperation which often gets us into wrong relationships. There might be peer pressure, pressure from the family to find a suitable partner and get married. But don’t rush into things. It will happen when it’s supposed to be. The main problem is that you need to pause, reflect and get advice. Recognize that your fear of being alone is taking over. A rash decision now could lead to endless unhappiness. So act upon your fear slowly and steadily.
Count your blessings
Study after study shows that if people show gratitude they will reap a bountiful harvest. These include a stronger immune system, better health, more positive energy and most important of all, feeling less lonely and isolated.
Surround yourself with your loved ones, travel and don’t be scared to be alone.
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